Sunday, January 10, 2010


I usually text my boss every Monday morning with some kind of bizarre excuse stating why I will not be @ work. I thought I would share some of these because who wants to work in January? I hate January, it is cold, a huge let down after the holidays, it always seems drab and dreary I would really rather stay home (with pay of course) and read a good book curled up in a blanket by the fire. If this sounds appealing to any of you, I will pass on to you some the great excuses that I have used (not that they have been effective or gotten me out of work)
  1. I was nude sunbathing this weekend and I am too burned to put clothes on so I can't come in to work!
  2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it!
  3. Sorry! I won't be in today, my dog ate my car keys so we are trying to hitch hike to the vet!
  4. I can't come in today, I'm stalking my old boss that never believed me when I called in sick!
  5. I won't be at work today, my pet goldfish is sick and I need to take her to the vet! (my boss said to H@*# with the goldfish, bring her in and we will filet her and have sushi for lunch!)