I usually text my boss every Monday morning with some kind of bizarre excuse stating why I will not be @ work. I thought I would share some of these because who wants to work in January? I hate January, it is cold, a huge let down after the holidays, it always seems drab and dreary I would really rather stay home (with pay of course) and read a good book curled up in a blanket by the fire. If this sounds appealing to any of you, I will pass on to you some the great excuses that I have used (not that they have been effective or gotten me out of work)
- I was nude sunbathing this weekend and I am too burned to put clothes on so I can't come in to work!
- When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it!
- Sorry! I won't be in today, my dog ate my car keys so we are trying to hitch hike to the vet!
- I can't come in today, I'm stalking my old boss that never believed me when I called in sick!
- I won't be at work today, my pet goldfish is sick and I need to take her to the vet! (my boss said to H@*# with the goldfish, bring her in and we will filet her and have sushi for lunch!)
5 comments:
LMAO! There's a few I haven't tried yet, but will. Have you tried these:
I'm too pretty to work.
My bra's too tight.
I've got anal myopathy (can't see my ass going to work)(Evan's fav)
Obama said to conserve energy.
Just a few more ideas!
You're a master. I'd like to hear some of your excuses for getting out of other things...or maybe I don't. Davis in January sounds just like I remember. I wish I were there.
More excuses:
There's a Jerry Springer marathon on the tube and my therapist says I must watch it to mitigate my violent tendencies.
I feel a severe hangnail coming on....and you don't want me to give it to everyone in the office, would you?
My underwear is pinching something fierce.
Today has been declared "Take a day off" in Hawaii and I'm trying to honor your heritage.
I partied way too hard last night and you don't want a mammo tech with barf-breath, do you?
Feel free to use any of these. It took me 10 minutes to think of them! Whew, how do you do it each week?
Also, your excuse number 2 is my favorite!
You're too crazy Sue---great "blog", but where are the pictures of you & Amy in Texas???Still trying to catch up eh? Doug & I had fun in Arizona, it was 70 degrees in Lake Havasu. Talk to you soon, getting ready for Ted's 90th birthday party saturday---wish you could be here, Shar & Scott both flew out to celebrate! Love to all, Mom
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